Happy Birthday, Mom

One of my favorite bloggers is back after a long silence.
http://www.notesfromthetrenches.com/page/4/

She wrote about her perfectionism and how she often doesn't start a post because the conditions aren't perfect. Anyway, go read what she wrote and pretend that I wrote it too. She is funnier than I am but I may have her beat in the crazy department.

So today in honor of my mother, who often told me I was a wonderful writer, I will start again. She may have been reading through the eyes of love but that's okay.

Today would have been her birthday.

If she were still here on this earth we would drive to her favorite restaurant tomorrow to celebrate. She and my dad have, (had?...I never know the words for these moments) birthdays seperated by one day and we always celebrated on the 'in between day'.
Since Mom's death I have discovered that my eyes are indeed quite leaky. Previously, I rarely cried and even take some sort of perverse pride in traversing difficult, highly emotional event dry-eyed.

That would be some of the crazy I mentioned earlier.

I wanted to call my aunt today. She and Mom were best friends.
But tears have forged a steady trail down my cheeks and I can't find my voice underneath their salty tracks.

My sweet, sweet cousin called her for me. I didn't even ask her to.
My kids have all called to check on me.
So has my sister. 

I have the best family.

I just wish she were here too.

Just sayin'...................................