OINK-Only IN Kindergarten

I have this kid in my room this year who has to be the happiest person I have ever met.

I want to be just like him when I grow up.

To this bright spot in my day chairs are not for sitting.
In fact, he routinely falls from his chair for no apparent reason other than his own propensity to shake, rattle and roll.

Ever heard of planking?
It involves balancing one's stiffened body across an object. 
He does it every day.

Sometimes he teeters across his chair.
Sometimes he has an elbow on the table and a knee on his chair.
I cannot begin to list the insane positions he has been able to achieve using only one small blue chair and the edge of his table.

Several times a day I realize that he has disappeared.
This usually results in an exasperated ever so slightly impatient yell redirection from his teacher and he pops up from under the table or under the chair.

And that face, that cute little face that belongs in an episode of The Little Rascals (look it up young people), has that smile on it.

And I can't help but smile back.
And I also forget that I am exasperated.
(Note to self-grin more, people will forget why they are annoyed.)

Today he hopped (really) across the room to interrupt me as I spoke with a co-worker.

We ignored him until we heard...IT.
One of those words you just don't want to hear in a classroom of five year olds.
One of those words you will spend ten or seventy minutes discussing with offended kids, giggling kids and curious kids.

We stopped in mid sentence to hear...

Mrs. Frazzled, Mrs. Frazzled! I dint bwing my pee-is to schoo' today!  I dint bwing my peeis to schoo' today!

Huh? What? Wait! What did you say?

I dint bwing my peeis to schoo' today!

Ummmmmm, say that again I didn't understand you.

Big sigh-I dint bwing my pee-is to schoo'!

You didn't bring your.........(I can't say it so I substitute my next best guess) pants? to school today?

Another big sigh-I.dint.bwing.my.PEE-IS.to.schoo'.today.
(I know he was wondering why he had to be stuck with the deaf teacher)

Sweetie, I hear you I just don't know what you are saying.

He searched among the junk on my desk,
found what he needed and said even louder-I.dint.bwing.my.PEEIS.to.schoo'.today!

All this while holding a PENCIL two inches from my nose.

You see, Smiley has been purchasing a lead pencil from the school store on a daily basis for quite sometime. These pencils come inside a clear plastic tube.
Said tube makes a great light saber, a fabulous straw, an awesome telescope and a fantastic way to get the teacher to holler. It shouldn't surprise anyone that his teacher has been urging him to stop the retail therepy.

When I finished laughing we sat down to practice including the n and the l sounds in the word pencil!

I feel sorry for you people that have regular jobs.



Just sayin'......................................

The One Who Speaks the Truth

We sat together at the small round table.
Our heads were close together as we both looked at the work she never finds as engaging as say...
the sound of someone else breathing
or...
the hem of her pants.

I'm gonna help you get finished so you can have some free time, I say in my special-I'm being ever so patient with you-teacher voice.

Nodding, she sticks out her tongue in the position required for hard work.

I watch as she carefully writes letters.

Keep going, don't stop I urge. Pay attention I admonish. Focus on your work, look back at your paper I say in my super fancy slightly high pitched-I'm hanging on to my patience by a thread-teacher voice.

Finally, the last letter is painstakingly written and she looks up at me as I wearily cheer for her.

She gazes into my eyes for several moments and I wait for the heartfelt thanks that must be coming.

Your eyes look red and bad, she says.  Maybe you need to get a little sun.

Clunk.
That was the sound of my head hitting the table.

She keeps me humble, that one.


Just sayin'......................

  

About the Dream I Dreamed Last Night

Last week a student asked me if I had a mama.

Yes, I do, I answered. But she lives in heaven now.

Oh, and you're sad?

Yeah. When I miss her, I'm sad.

Oh, she said.

And when she leaned her head against mine
it was as soothing as cool water on a burn.

We stayed that way, her head against mine and her little
hands patting my back in silent sympathy until
she darted off to finish an activity.

I think my mom sent her to love on me.

I dreamt of my mother last night.
She came to me in my dream but I left
before finding out why she was there.

She walked in as I was changing clothes
in a room that was dim and crowded.

I was glad to see her but admonished her
for carrying a heavy laundry basket.

Mama, give me that, I ordered. You know
I dont want you carrying anything that heavy.
Sit here. How are you? I asked.

I'm okay, she answered.
But her voice was tired and in my dream
I was worried.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

Then I woke.
Gasping. Sweating.
Immediately sorry.
Sorry for leaving
my dream too soon

I miss her so.
I am still not ready to be a child without a mama.
Sort of a half orphan.

With her, I could be a child again if I needed to.

Her child.

She would listen to me alot, advise me just a little 
and then she would pat me on the butt
and send me back out into the world again
a little stronger.

That's what mamas do, you see.
They help us grow up.

Sometimes with kind words.
Sometimes with a swat on our rear ends.
But in their hearts
we remain their babies.

I just miss being her baby.


Just sayin'...............................

Beware the Teacher With Hot Flashes

He said, "I'm tryin' to do my mornin' work but it's a little cold in here!"

Sometimes

Sometimes heroes come in small packages

Sometimes a kindergarten teacher may be a little squeamish about smushing bugs.

 
Sometimes the thought of the crunchiness and the guts will make a kindergarten teacher unwilling to step on the half-dollar sized spider.

Sometimes a very wise kindergarten teacher will cheerfully yell, “Who wants to come squash this big, fat brown spider?”

Always, an eager little hero will rush forward.

Sometimes that hero will be a  girl whose red hair is gilded with gold.

And sometimes that sweet, innocent, beautiful child will turn into a ninja and grind that hairy spider into the carpet with her sparkly, pink light up tennis shoes.

And then she will check the bottom of her shoe for guts and walk demurely back to her place in line.

And ALWAYS, the teacher will struggle to keep a straight face while thanking her little hero!

The Best Job Ever

I know it's been a while.

Okay...I know it has been a long while.

This has been a trying challenging school year.

Seems like I just might say that every year but this year...
well, this year it isn't just me.

The entire school whispers about the kindergarteners, and believe you me, those whispers are not filled with joyous anticipation of a future opportunity to teach these little ones when we have done all we can with them. Let's just say that the 1st through 5th grade teachers are all checking retirement dates.  Smile.

(I'm not kidding.)

It's all good, though.  I know it is a kindergarten teacher's job to tame the little monsters rascals. It falls on us and their pre-k teachers to civilize them and teach them about school words, school manners and school behavior and it is very much like trying to herd crazed chickens all in one direction.

It is just an unusual year in that every class has two or more...shall we say, special challenges.

I'm not just talking about behavior issues although some of our babies have us earning every bit of our salaries and then some.

We are feeding more of them, dressing more of them, comforting more of them and sending home more toothbrushes and shoelaces than every before. We are talking them through big feelings about events in their lives that children should never have to experience.

Kids today see too much, know too much and experience too much. What was once unusual and cause for open mouthed disbelief has become the norm and teachers now find themselves surprised by the occasional 'innocent' students we find in our classrooms.

God bless the innocent ones because they are often the ones that can soothe our souls when we have tried and failed to help their less blessed counterparts. If you are a parent of a young child who refers to 'shut-up' as the S word, 'dumb' as the D word and identifies 'fart' as the F word then God bless you too.

So yes, we find ourselves doing more. Much more.

Yes, I am braiding her hair untouched since I braided it the day before or letting him sleep during calendar time this morning because I know about what happened at home last night.

Yes, I am telling them that sometimes the kid has to remind the parent that homework is a 'have to' not a 'choice' and that if that doesn't work to be honest and tell me so that I can find a time to practice sight words with them at school.

Yes, I am pushing them, raising the bar beyond what society might expect considering their special needs. I am tolerating their differences while teaching their peers to do the same.

Yes, I am loving them as much and as hard as I can even though others might think I am too soft, too easy or too tolerant.

Sometimes that is all I can do and sometimes I am the only one that will.

Is it odd that I feel honored to be that person for them.

Surely it isn't. Because at least once a day one or more of the other teachers I work with will say, "This is the best job, ever!"

And it is.

After a month I can finally say
that the little chicks I spend my
days herding trying to herd in
one direction are starting to
at least stick together in a
group.

They are.wearing.us.out!
BUT
They are also making us laugh
several times a day. This group
is a hoot!

My co-worker, Renee and I,
collaborated on a
Forrest Gump paraphrase
after a long day of
the craziness unique to
kindergarteners.

Oh, the stories I am collecting this year will amaze
you and entertain you all year long!

Does Anyone Else Think It is Way Too Early For Back to School?

Remember this kid?  http://justsayingyall.blogspot.com/2010/04/he-waits-for-me-every-day-beside-no.html

When I left school around 8:00 tonight he was there in his usual spot playing with his younger brothers and sisters.

I stole a glance at him as I started the car.

Sure enough, he whirled around at the sound of my engine and the other unseemly noises my car has a habit of emitting.

That giant, goofy grin I love so much was on his face as he ran a few steps closer to the sidewalk.

Once again we waved to each other.

I honestly don't know whose smile was bigger.

I'll bet it was the one on my face.


Just sayin'................................

Oh, and by the way, yes we are already back at work for pre-planning.
And yes, it is still July.
And no, we can't believe it either.

Just sayin'..................

ABC Countdown!

We are a few days into our annual ABC Countdown.
Twenty-six days of alphabetic fun.

The school year is drawing to a close.

I know this because many things have gotten so much easier.

Lot's of my kiddos now know how to zip, button and some can even tie shoes.

Many of them remember to wipe their noses sometimes
and the boys hardly ever run out of the bathroom with their pants undone OR (yes this is true)
all the way down anymore.

By the way, why do boys do that?????

They all look much older than those First Day of School pictures and I wonder when they did all that growing.

It must have been when I wasn't looking.
Or maybe it was over the Christmas Holidays. 

They know what to do when they need a pencil or a red crayon and sometimes they even remember what to do when they find one of these items on the floor.

They work quietly try very hard to work quietly at quiet times and love notes to the teacher (my favorite things ever) are coming fast and furious.

They can all tell when I have a headache
and I can tell when they stayed up too late the night before
or when their belly hurts but they won't tell me because it's dinosaur day
and nobody wants to miss dinosaur day.

This is such a bittersweet time of year for me.

We are all tired. We all need a break.
It's just the way it is for young learners
(and their teachers).

I know it is time to push my babies out of the nest
but I JUST got them where I want them.

And it's so nice and cozy in our nest.

You see, we have finally figured each other out.

We love each other.
We tell each other several times a day.

We know each other so well.
They don't mind that I lose at least 3 or 4 markers
or worksheets
or books I planned to read
or my glasses
or my keys
or my sunglasses
or my mind several times a day.

We trust each other.
The shy, quiet one
has finally started telling me stories
and answering in much, much more than
one or two word answers.
I know what motivates
and they know just!how!far!
to push before they are forced
to duck the dreaded teacher glare.

I have often thought that I could actually cause a child to levitate with my teacher glare and Mr. Pointer finger.

I haven't tried yet but there is still time. Smile.


Just sayin'.........................

OINK

The sweet little fellow who knew only 2 or 3 letters back in August and in fact re-named several letters including:

*(f)   double j
  (k)  key
  (g)  jew
  (l)   stem
  (i)   linedot 

is now a reader and a writer.

He tells me he wants to be an alligator wrestler
when he grows up and his face really does glow with excitement!

When I inquire about the price of admission he looks insulted.
He says that I can come to the show for free
and that when he is done performing
he is taking all the alligators to Africa.

He gives me a short demonstration of a few moves
he is practicing and he jumps all the way back to his seat.

We wear matching smiles
as we each get back to the mundane task of
Morning Work.

I shake my head thinking,
it seems like it was just last week that I had to say things to him like...

Do NOT lick your name tag.
That's the urinal I was telling you about earlier.
Never, ever sit on it again.
Stop licking your knee and listen to me.
What's so funny about the word, BE-hind? Quit being silly and sit on it.


I'm gonna miss that kid.

Just sayin'........................


*best made up names ever!

Picture Day

Picture day is one of my favoritest days of school.

It is so much fun to see all my little kiddos all dressed up.

And the kids?

Well they are just as excited as they were the day before school got out for Christmas vacation.

I know! Go figure?

We see new dresses and new shoes, special curly hairdos and boys with hair slicked back or spiked up.

Sometimes a little fellow will arrive sporting a new three piece suit or a little girl will twirl into the classroom in full princess attire.

Seriously, hair is bedazzled, brand new clothes still have tags hanging and bling is everywhere!  I have had to make a quick phone call to make sure little Sally's mommy knew Sally was wearing Mommy's 'special goin' out on a date necklace' or that little Johnny really was supposed to pose with his sleeve rolled up to show off that new Transformers tattoo.

It goes without saying that we will receive several notes asking us to change the little darlings back into more kid friendly clothes when the pictures have been snapped.

I, for one, am always more than happy to oblige.

I feel sorry for the kids who are afraid of getting food or worse on that special outfit.

It's almost as bad as the kids who arrive at school with the strict admonition not to get their brand new tennis shoes dirty.

When they go out to recess.
Outside.
On the playground.
Where there is lots of dirt.

Imagine my horror when I caught myself saying the very same thing to my own children.

Anyway...........

Picture day this year lived up to all it's anticipated excitement!

Little girls twirled and little boys popped their collars.
I admired new shoes and new clothes.

However, no one topped the little fellow who arrived

in

a

swimsuit.

It was my fault.

Of course it was!
I sent home a letter letting the parents know that the backdrop this year was a beach scene.


I love my job!



Just sayin'.........................................