How To Traumatize a Kindergartener in One Easy Step

Disclaimer:No Kindergartners were INTENTIONALLY traumatized in the following story that may or may not have happened to me or someone else sometime in the past.

Anyone who has ever attempted to convince one five or six year old to voluntarily leave the playground can appreciate the sometimes monumental task of rounding up twenty or more little wild rascals and getting them all back inside their classrooms.  It is not uncommon for this process to send even a veteran teacher into a tizzy.

Imagine with me, a playground teeming with children. Picture these children running around like ants who have discovered a lollipop on the ground. Let's just say for the sake of our discussion that a co-worker who has had to walk a child inside for some reason has asked me someone to bring in her class with mine theirs.

Okay, let's just pretend like this happened to me. Just to, you know, make it easier to tell the story.

As is my usual custom, I blew my whistle while waving my hand back and forth. Turning the volume of my super sized megaphone up all the way I call for my co-worker's children to line up beside my class.

As I headed up toward the front of my line to break up a wrestling match worthy of the WWF I suddenly realized something even worse than a sleeper hold was occurring in Mrs. Co-worker's line.

One of her little girls was pinching the front of her shirt between the fingers of both hands while yelling,

I ain't got no titties, I ain't got no titties!

Whirling around and bending to eye level I confronted her.

Did you just say I ain't got no titties?!?!?!

She froze. And nodded. And carefully let go of her shirt.

Gasp!!!!  You did???? Did you really say I ain't got no titties?!?!?!

Again, the nod.

Let's just say I was....appalled.

Lips firmly pressed together in horror I finished herding the last few hold outs into one line or another and marched both lines to the classrooms.

Upon arriving at the large meeting area outside the kindergarten classrooms I invited my little friend to share her information with the paraprofessional that works with Mrs. Co-worker.

Bursting into tears she confessed,

I was dus sayin I ain't got no titties.

Let's just say....that information was not well received.

I got on with the business of teaching a few lessons and was helping the student pack their backpacks with pictures drawn that day, art projects completed and worksheets with smiles on them.

The door to my classroom opened and in marched Mrs. Co-worker
followed by our little friend.

Mrs. Co-worker asked me to tell her about the scene I witnessed on the playground and I did so with all the self righteous indignity I could muster.

And as I relayed my story our precious friend burst into tears.

When I finished repeating her EXACT words one more time her teacher very quietly said,

She says she was saying I got Hello Kitties.

Very slowly, I followed Mrs. Co-workers eyes and

I looked at her shirt.

Of course.

It was a Hello Kitty shirt.

Barely moving my lips I asked,

Ummm, she doesn't have a little speech problem, does she.

Mrs. nodded,
She does.

Nodding back I bent down and asked,

Sweetie, did you say I ain't got no titties or did you say I got Hello Kitties?

Sweetie nodded.

Which one did you say, sweet girl?

Sweet girl shrugged.

After repeating my questions and receiving the same response I looked at her teacher and allowed as to how I had made a terrible mistake.

Lots of kindergartners substitute the t sound for the k sound.

Nodding, Mrs. Co-worker carefully drew a line through the note she had already written in sweet girls agenda and added a note of explanation.

To make a funny story even funnier the note her mom wrote back said, "She usually says boobies at home but when I asked her about this I couldn't tell what she was saying either!"

Thank God for the cool moms....


Just sayin'........


P.S. I apologized profusely to sweet girl and while I feel sure that she has forgiven my poor hearing she continues to look at me out of the corner of her eye. Kinda like you watch the scary crazy person talking to themselves in the Wal-mart.

The One Who Speaks the Truth

We sat together at the small round table.
Our heads were close together as we both looked at the work she never finds as engaging as say...
the sound of someone else breathing
or...
the hem of her pants.

I'm gonna help you get finished so you can have some free time, I say in my special-I'm being ever so patient with you-teacher voice.

Nodding, she sticks out her tongue in the position required for hard work.

I watch as she carefully writes letters.

Keep going, don't stop I urge. Pay attention I admonish. Focus on your work, look back at your paper I say in my super fancy slightly high pitched-I'm hanging on to my patience by a thread-teacher voice.

Finally, the last letter is painstakingly written and she looks up at me as I wearily cheer for her.

She gazes into my eyes for several moments and I wait for the heartfelt thanks that must be coming.

Your eyes look red and bad, she says.  Maybe you need to get a little sun.

Clunk.
That was the sound of my head hitting the table.

She keeps me humble, that one.


Just sayin'......................

  

A Letter To My Students

Does Anyone Else Think It is Way Too Early For Back to School?

Remember this kid?  http://justsayingyall.blogspot.com/2010/04/he-waits-for-me-every-day-beside-no.html

When I left school around 8:00 tonight he was there in his usual spot playing with his younger brothers and sisters.

I stole a glance at him as I started the car.

Sure enough, he whirled around at the sound of my engine and the other unseemly noises my car has a habit of emitting.

That giant, goofy grin I love so much was on his face as he ran a few steps closer to the sidewalk.

Once again we waved to each other.

I honestly don't know whose smile was bigger.

I'll bet it was the one on my face.


Just sayin'................................

Oh, and by the way, yes we are already back at work for pre-planning.
And yes, it is still July.
And no, we can't believe it either.

Just sayin'..................

Some things just need to be said.
Migraines, I HATE you.
We have been in this relationship for 34 years now and frankly,
it is a relationship I never wanted.
You have robbed me of hours, days-dare I say weeks, of fun, family time, productivity and even sleep
and I want out!

Also, migraines....you made me have to subtract 15 from 49 just now.
First of all, subtraction is hard
and second of all,
whaddaya mean I'm that old?

Hormones. You are getting on my nerves. The reason is spelled h-o-t-f-l-a-s-h.

Students, you have turned into head spinning,
loud talking,
crazy acting,
alien possesed,
whirling tornadoes of arms and legs.
Your teachers are walking around with wide-eyed stares mumbling over and over, "School is not out yet, we still have rules around here!"
Someone may be delivering this message in a loud, outdoor voice.
I'm not gonna say who it might be. 

Plus.....I'm gonna miss you so! You make every day an adventure and I am so very proud of you!

Weather, you are too hot for May. I am not the only one who feels this way.

Dogs, all FIVE of you. (I know, I know. There are five of them. It's crazy.) Listen carefully. You stink and your hair is falling out entirely too much. Please do what you can to rectify this situation.

DVR, I think I love you.

Smart Phone, you are not very smart.
You somehow make random changes and also. Your screen freezes.

Yarn, embroidery thread, material, paint and Cricut, I am sorry I have neglected you. Actually using you would cut into my craft and home decor blog surfing time way too much. However, I continue to diligently save blog posts containing awesome ideas.

Classroom, you are messy. Desk, I find you especially offensive. On a related note, paperwork....I think I hate you.

Naps, you are my BFF.

Bed, I still love you.

Alarm clock, your days are numbered.
I'll be the one sleeping in next week.

Just sayin'............

ABC Countdown!

We are a few days into our annual ABC Countdown.
Twenty-six days of alphabetic fun.

The school year is drawing to a close.

I know this because many things have gotten so much easier.

Lot's of my kiddos now know how to zip, button and some can even tie shoes.

Many of them remember to wipe their noses sometimes
and the boys hardly ever run out of the bathroom with their pants undone OR (yes this is true)
all the way down anymore.

By the way, why do boys do that?????

They all look much older than those First Day of School pictures and I wonder when they did all that growing.

It must have been when I wasn't looking.
Or maybe it was over the Christmas Holidays. 

They know what to do when they need a pencil or a red crayon and sometimes they even remember what to do when they find one of these items on the floor.

They work quietly try very hard to work quietly at quiet times and love notes to the teacher (my favorite things ever) are coming fast and furious.

They can all tell when I have a headache
and I can tell when they stayed up too late the night before
or when their belly hurts but they won't tell me because it's dinosaur day
and nobody wants to miss dinosaur day.

This is such a bittersweet time of year for me.

We are all tired. We all need a break.
It's just the way it is for young learners
(and their teachers).

I know it is time to push my babies out of the nest
but I JUST got them where I want them.

And it's so nice and cozy in our nest.

You see, we have finally figured each other out.

We love each other.
We tell each other several times a day.

We know each other so well.
They don't mind that I lose at least 3 or 4 markers
or worksheets
or books I planned to read
or my glasses
or my keys
or my sunglasses
or my mind several times a day.

We trust each other.
The shy, quiet one
has finally started telling me stories
and answering in much, much more than
one or two word answers.
I know what motivates
and they know just!how!far!
to push before they are forced
to duck the dreaded teacher glare.

I have often thought that I could actually cause a child to levitate with my teacher glare and Mr. Pointer finger.

I haven't tried yet but there is still time. Smile.


Just sayin'.........................

OINK

The sweet little fellow who knew only 2 or 3 letters back in August and in fact re-named several letters including:

*(f)   double j
  (k)  key
  (g)  jew
  (l)   stem
  (i)   linedot 

is now a reader and a writer.

He tells me he wants to be an alligator wrestler
when he grows up and his face really does glow with excitement!

When I inquire about the price of admission he looks insulted.
He says that I can come to the show for free
and that when he is done performing
he is taking all the alligators to Africa.

He gives me a short demonstration of a few moves
he is practicing and he jumps all the way back to his seat.

We wear matching smiles
as we each get back to the mundane task of
Morning Work.

I shake my head thinking,
it seems like it was just last week that I had to say things to him like...

Do NOT lick your name tag.
That's the urinal I was telling you about earlier.
Never, ever sit on it again.
Stop licking your knee and listen to me.
What's so funny about the word, BE-hind? Quit being silly and sit on it.


I'm gonna miss that kid.

Just sayin'........................


*best made up names ever!

Picture Day

Picture day is one of my favoritest days of school.

It is so much fun to see all my little kiddos all dressed up.

And the kids?

Well they are just as excited as they were the day before school got out for Christmas vacation.

I know! Go figure?

We see new dresses and new shoes, special curly hairdos and boys with hair slicked back or spiked up.

Sometimes a little fellow will arrive sporting a new three piece suit or a little girl will twirl into the classroom in full princess attire.

Seriously, hair is bedazzled, brand new clothes still have tags hanging and bling is everywhere!  I have had to make a quick phone call to make sure little Sally's mommy knew Sally was wearing Mommy's 'special goin' out on a date necklace' or that little Johnny really was supposed to pose with his sleeve rolled up to show off that new Transformers tattoo.

It goes without saying that we will receive several notes asking us to change the little darlings back into more kid friendly clothes when the pictures have been snapped.

I, for one, am always more than happy to oblige.

I feel sorry for the kids who are afraid of getting food or worse on that special outfit.

It's almost as bad as the kids who arrive at school with the strict admonition not to get their brand new tennis shoes dirty.

When they go out to recess.
Outside.
On the playground.
Where there is lots of dirt.

Imagine my horror when I caught myself saying the very same thing to my own children.

Anyway...........

Picture day this year lived up to all it's anticipated excitement!

Little girls twirled and little boys popped their collars.
I admired new shoes and new clothes.

However, no one topped the little fellow who arrived

in

a

swimsuit.

It was my fault.

Of course it was!
I sent home a letter letting the parents know that the backdrop this year was a beach scene.


I love my job!



Just sayin'.........................................

True Love

True love is as elusive as the end of the rainbow.

We all search for it and the luckiest of us find it.

I feel like the luckiest of all because I seem to find it year after year.  Maybe I should say, it finds me.

Take a good hard look at this picture.

To the uninitiated this may look like just another messy desk that may or may not be mine. Notice the missing key on the keyboard. That used to be the ALT key. I told you teachers are underpaid. (See-Get A Job)

This is really about true love and how to recognize it when it happens to you.

True love is finding a prized sticker from
a local dentist's office lovingly stuck to
your computer monitor.

The look on his face when I looked up and
smiled at him more than made up for the
thousands
of times I had to call his name that day.

I sure do love that kid!

Just sayin'................

OINK

I have a kindergarten story to share today.

I should warn you that it requires the repitition of
a word some will find offensive.

Just know that the teacher involved was just as
shocked as you will be.  Heh!

Our school is blessed with an abundance of children
for whom English is not their native language.

In fact, we have been so blessed for many, many
years now. Make no mistake....I use the word blessed
with absolutely no sarcasm.

We love our ESL babies!

As always, names have been changed to keep me out
of trouble. Smile!


Over time, we all learn to listen with half an ear to our
students as they talk with each other during those activities
that permit a little socialization.

It is amazing what you can learn during these child to child
discussions and we all learn to pick up on certain words.
Some words can give us insight into a student's recent
behavior and other words like, 'Don't tell!' alert us to
impending trouble.

And then there are the notorious Kindergarten
bad words-sometimes called cussin' words.

These words would include
the F word (Fat or Fart),
the D word (Dumb),
the S word (Stupid or Shut-up)
and the ever popular poop and pee.

Occassionaly, a child will utter a real cussin' word and
this was what became apparent one afternoon in a
co-workers classroom.

While working individually with a child, the para-professional
in the classroom realized that one of the ESL kiddos was
vehemently repeating the phrase 'Oh s#*t!' over and over to
his partener in crime.

She sternly marched the offending party to the teacher and
had him confess his sin.

What folows is the conversaiton as re-told to me.

Teacher-Melvin, what did you say?
Melvin-I jus' say oh s#*t.
Teacher-(gasping) Come out here in the hallway with me right now!
Now tell me again what you said.
Melvin-(matter of factly) I jus' say 'oh s#*t'.

While you let this sink in let me explain. We have learned
over the years that our ESL buddies often have no idea that
what they are saying is offensive. We have also found that you
must tell them exactly what it is they said that was unacceptable.

Just trust me. It is waaaay better to be specific.

Back to our story...

Teacher-You can't say 'Oh s#*t!' at school, Melvin.
Melvin-Huh?
Teacher-You can't say 'Oh s#*t!' at school. S#*t is a very bad word
and we never, ever say s#*t at school.
Melvin-Okay.
Teacher-Even if your parents say s#*t or you hear it on t.v. you aren't
allowed to say that word.
Teacher-Why did you say it, anyway? (We always ask this. I don't know why)
Melvin-Weeeeeell, I jus' say to my frien' dat Sponj Bop, he lif in de oh s#*t
wif Patrick.  I din know eet was bat.
Teacher-Oh. Ummm. Well, we pronounce that word O-shin. And you can say it that way anytime you want. Now get back to work sweet boy.

Wanna know what the teacher was thinking?

Oh shin! I just taught a five year old how to say Oh s#*t!

Just sayin'.......................................

Get a Job!

Today I confiscated a mangled paper clip from one of my students.

As I dramatically implored the precious angels to refrain from twisting all of my paper clips completely out of shape and to place them unharmed on my desk one of my little sweeties said,
“Yeah, cuz they costes alot of money and you don’t have any money!”

They may have heard that very comment some other time.
Possibly uttered by an adult.
Maybe in reference to the excessive use of glue.
Maybe.

Anyway, the others around her nodded with concerned looks on their faces and one little girl piped up with,
“My mama says she doesn’t have enough money.”
I nodded my head and solemnly added,
“I don’t have enough money either.”

We all gazed sadly at each other contemplating our mutually, pitiful financial state and the possibility of life without paperclips.

From the back (where the trouble makers tend to be) came a little voice…..
a little impatient voice.

”Then get a job!”

After I finished laughing I told the students that I DID indeed have a job.

Same location.
Same kid.
Same slightly irritated voice asked
"Then what is it?"

This is the second time this year my students have been shocked to learn that my JOB is to be with them all day!

Earlier this year as we walked out to recess one day I remarked that I just hadn’t wanted to get up out of bed to come to work that day!

You could have heard a pin drop and the entire line came to a halt. They ALL stared at me with confused expressions on their faces and finally one little girl said,

“You have a job?!?!?  What is it?"






I don’t get no respect at all…..






Just sayin

A Letter to the Crud

Dear Russell Elementary Virus Crud,

You are not welcome here. Please go away!
I shouldn't even be talking to you now.
I am immune to any puny little
grade school virus.

I really don't know how you snuck past
my ninja like immune system.
I find it rude and inconsiderate.
I should have know this morning would end badly
when my sweet faced student told me that she was sick with

'the phlegm'

but she came to school anyway.

The headache you have given me is
way.over.the.top!
And I know headaches!

Last night the throbbing woke me up.
That was totally unnecessary.
I could have been sleeping but NOOOOOO
I had to run through all of my self-diagnosis
procedures to be sure that I hadn't suddenly
developed a brain tumor. 

Like any good teacher I tried to work.
I really did. Remember I like those little people
who spend their days with me. I tell my colleagues that
school will go on just fine without them and that
the kids will survive a day or two without us.
But none of us really believe that. We know society as
we know it could easily fall apart if we take a day off.

However, when I realized I  was seriously considering
teaching from a prone position on the floor
I thought I'd better consider
alternative plans.

I hate you Crud.
I mean it.

You see, worst of all you attacked the husband.
Now we have to share the sick bed.
And it makes me feel guilty when he
manages to get some stuff done around here 
while I just lay around and moan.

Well, not really.

He was in the military. I'm pretty sure they got
some special training for times like this.
I'll bet he has special forces training in
combatting 'the pleghm'.



Just sayin'...............

Another Baby Post

This is the child who made me a great aunt. She has more nicknames than Baskins Robbins has flavors.

I like to call her Ellie Belly, Ells Bells, Ellie J and Pebbles.

She also answers to Belly, Belle and of course the ever popular and apt Princess. Smile.

Have you ever seen a more beautiful face?

Those eyelashes are to die for and when her mama puts her hair up in pigtails or a ponytail on the top of her head...... well, I cannot be held responsible for any spoiling that happens.

Her grin lights up the world and only a cyborg could resist grinning back at her.

Her parents are so blessed to have her! She is blessed to have them too. I love watching her mommy and daddy take care of her. 

Right now she is a little suspicious of me.  I don't get to see her as much as I would like. I can't wait for the day that she knows that I'm the great aunt that always has something special just for her in her purse.  I'm never above a little bribery. Smile again.

Ellie J, I promise never to pinch your cheeks and I will never ever, ever, ever try to get some of your sugar with lipstick on my teeth and smelly coffee breath. 

I promise to always give you two cookies (one for each hand) and when your mommy and daddy get all crochety and grumpy like parents sometimes do I'll take you outside to play.

I promise to be on your side every time.

I love you, Pebbles!

Aunt Ann
(Your favorite GREAT aunt)

Lunch With the Chef AKA OINK!

Soooo, she walked into the classroom this morning ready for picture day. She was dressed in new clothes from head to toe.  I knew that because her hoodie had the size sticker placed precariously on her shoulder where she'd forgotten about it after playing with it on the way to school.

She glanced my way several times as she rummaged around in her backpack (also new). Finally finding what she wanted and holding it proudly in her hand she approached me.

Just imagine I am telling you this story in the voice of a typical five year old.

"I bwung da Chef," she said.

"Ummm, what did you say, Sweetie?" I said.

"I bwung da Chef," she repeated patiently.

"Okaaaay," I said. "Why?"

She stared at me blankly.
In retrospect, I realize she just might
have been wondering why she got stuck with the slow teacher.

"I put in my wunchbox," she said.

"Soooo, did you bring that for lunch?" I asked.

(Yes! I know it was a dumb question, but we have a snack time too, people!  You wouldn't even believe what they bring for snack time!)

She nodded solemnly. Sigh.
It's tough to be saddled with the slow teacher.

"Does your mom know you brought the Chef to school today?"

"I didn't ask her," she said.

"Honey, you can't have the Chef for lunch. We don't have a way to cook it."

Leveling a flat stare at me (you know the one little kids have when they don't believe a word you are saying) she turned away.

Later on at lunch time she once again pulled out the Chef.

"Baby," I said politely, "What are you doing now?"

"Getting.da.Chef.for.wunch." This said slowly and followed with a silent DUH!

Like a good teacher, I realized that she didn't get it the first time and perhaps it was due to my explanation.

I tried another tack

"Okay, girlie, did you bring your can opener?"

She made the OH NO face and shook her head.

"Then the Chef stays in the classroom."  This said with an invisible fist pump given by the teacher.    Smile.

Yes, boys and girls, the child had bwung an unopened can of Chef Boyardee SpaghettiOs.

Sometimes you just gotta know how to explain things.

Just sayin'.....................

Every summer I pray for the students that will be mine in August.

I learned the hard way that spending a summer in prayer was sometimes all that stood between me and a complete nervous break down sometime the following school year.

And I'm not just kidding.

Early on in my career I mostly prayed for immunity to the various stomach viruses especially the throw up ones.
(My vomit phobia is still alive and kicking by the way but that's a whole 'nother story.)
I prayed for sweet children and patience.
I prayed for patience a lot. Big mistake.
I prayed that the parents would be nice to me and that I would be able to get it all done....the plans, the documentation, the never.ending.mind.numbing.despicable.paper.work!

I was all business. I took lots of pride in quiet, straight lines, an organized, well run classroom, lesson plans done weeks (again, not just kidding) in advance and a calm, quiet classroom.

I became known as a strict disciplinarian.  And I was.  I can bark orders with the best of them and I'm pretty sure that I can levitate a kid with the 'teacher glare' I've perfected over the years.

Many times, I fell for the line ALL principals use.
(Y'all know you do it to us. Smile.)
You know...the one that begins with...I don't think anyone else can handle this kid and ends with you somehow volunteering for that one kid whose frightening reputation has preceeded them.

Anyway....somewhere along the way I changed. 

I found that I liked the challange of looking for that one little way to connect with a kid. That one thing that would make a difference. I liked civilizing them.

I still pray for immunity to the stomach viruses-especially the throw up ones-but that's about all that remains from those first several years. I never, ever ask for patience anymore. That's just asking for trouble.

Now I mostly ask for kids that make me laugh.  I have learned to relax and enjoy five year olds and after 25+ years I'm still not sick of them. I have found that a belly laugh goes a long way towards turning a bad day into a good one.

Learning to relax and enjoy them was the key to surviving this long in the classroom.

I love, love, love the quirky ones and the ones who have no filter.  I love the ones who leave us wondering what in the world is going on in their heads.  They are all a little like puzzles.  You have to line up all the edges and then fill them in with lots of little pieces of knowledge. Sometimes everything fits together easily but more often than not the pieces must be coaxed together.  

The longer I teach the more I love it. I wish I could spend more time teaching them what they really need to know and less time pushing and rushing them to grow up faster than they should. That, my friends, is also another story.

Anyway, this was my long version of a disclaimer that while I find my students infinitely entertaining I really do attempt teach them something.

Hopefully, if I can't manage to teach them their ABCs they do leave my classroom knowing that I love them and that they matter to me.

That said, this is one of the funniest classes I have ever had.

So when I post about the funny things they do and say,
just know...
the laughter
they bring me
is an
answer
to prayer.



Just sayin'.................

If You Can Read This-Then Please Pray With Us

Our school family has lost a much loved member. We have lost one of our own. Words cannot express the depth of our shock and our grief.  

I have taught at this school for 27 years now and it has always felt like a family. We take care of our own whether it be faculty or student. We don't always agree with each other and we can be as petty as anyone else can but we always, always take care of each other.

Because in the end....that's what families do.

Each time I closed my eyes last night I saw the beautiful face of our friend. Amy had a smile that not only seemed to be a permanent fixture on her face but it could light up a room. As great as her smile was it didn't compare to her laugh. When Amy laughed-you laughed. She was smart and funny and good at her job. She made it clear that she loved her husband and her boys! In fact, some teased her about how much she loved her husband. She just laughed and told them that they were just jealous. If you knew Amy, then you knew that she loved, loved, loved those boys of hers.

I have heard from many others that they too were unable to sleep. On our minds and in our prayers were her husband who lay critically injured in a hospital and her children. Her babies. One thought ran through my mind over and over....Oh, God her boys...please don't take their daddy. 

Today the news about Amy's husband Brian was more encouraging and we know more about how this unnecessary, horrible tragedy happened.

Grief mixed with anger can be a lethal combination. At times, I find myself completely overwhelmed with anger that someones irresponsible, illegal, selfish decision cost a husband his wife, two precious boys their mother and countless others a piece of their hearts.

Sometimes it is downright inconvenient to be the adult. Personally, I'd like to lay down on the floor and scream and kick my feet. Hearts this broken feel every emotion as keenly as the sharpest knife and it will be hard for us to rise above the pain and anger but guess what?     

We will.

We will because we are family and family takes care of it's own.  We will love those little children entrusted to us each day and we will help them to make some kind of sense out of this mess.  We will comfort them and grieve with them as they began to realize that an adult they have come to know and love will not be coming back to school.

We will rise above this pain and anger because our school family answers to a higher authority than any school administrator or superintendent.  We teach because we are called. We will do what we always do. We will take care of our kids first and then....

well then,

we'll take care of each other.

Because that's what we do at RES.

Just sayin'..........................

I once posted that the last three days of school see this post were among the longest I had ever experienced in my life........Yeah, so I'm taking that back.

For the first time EVER in my 20 something career, our students started the school year on a Monday.

I know that starting on a Monday must make sense to the rest of the world and for a small moment I thought that I might like having five consecutive days to work on procedures and rules with the small people I am called to civilize this year.

Five year olds have an impeccable memory if you have promised them ice cream. But their memory is not so good about things like no screaming in the bathroom. I foolishly thought five days without a break might help improve the memories of the little critters.

I would tell you if my hypothesis was proven right or wrong but my feet are screaming so loudly I can't concentrate.

OH! MY! GOODNESS!

When I stand up and try to walk it feels as if my feet are four times their normal size.

They aren't. But they hurt.

Even if my feet weren't hurting, the crushing fatigue I am experiencing has rendered me incapable of any ability to form coherent thoughts.

It could be argued that the younger the child, the more energy required to usher them through the school day.

It could also be argued that the younger the child, the more words required to usher them through the school day.

I have repeated every thing I have said no less than three times. Everything.  Three times. At least.

It is becoming so ingrained that this morning when I stopped by McDonald's for a large sweet tea as a reward for living through the year week, the cashier asked me if the three large sweet teas were separate orders or all on the same order.

My co-workers and I are starting a petition to be paid by the word. If it works out I foresee an early retirement and a summer home in Italy.

In five short days I have already heard more OINKs and even said a few OINKs myself. I have also witnessed the creation of new letter names that will astound you.

By the way........I love, love, love my class. 
They are quirky and funny and sweet. 

Just sayin......................

Well.

The 2010-2011 school year has begun. 
We had to attend a county wide opening day meeting.

All I can say about that experience is that
it!
was!
hot!

Oh yes, and
traffic!
was! 
insane!

Oh, yes and theme park here in Georgia donated a prize to our county wide teacher of the year.

It was.....wait for it.....a water bottle.

Anything else I say could incriminate me and cause four of our five kids to be forced to miss several meals.

Did I mention it was hot.

Seriously, did they not know that hundreds of big ole grown people were coming today? So many programs were flapping it is a wonder the whole building didn't rise at least a few feet in the air.

I am afraid that I am going to have to tell the parents of my students to send a jacket with their children this SUMMER because the teacher has a malfunctioning inner thermostat.

The heat in Georgia this summer has brought out some of my inner psychotic tendencies. 

For example, that person you heard screaming about how her hair WAS! TOUCHING! HER! FACE!   That was me.

And the person that screamed the her dogs were TOUCHING! HER! ON! PURPOSE!  That was me, too.

Interestingly, one of the fabulous secretaries told me that as she registered another student for my classroom she heard the child say, "Mama, I'm having a hot flash just like Grandma!"

I think the two of us will get along just fine.  :)

Just sayin'..........................

There is a blog I check obsessively throughout the day and honestly throughout the night at times.

It is the story of Ashley.
A tiny, little girl with the spirit of David the giant killer. 

And she is in battle with a real life Goliath.

Ashley came into this world in a fight for her life and she has beaten back enemy after enemy after enemy.  She has fought to survive a multiple organ transplant and she has fought to survive cancer.

Ashley will be five years old soon.  Much of her five years have been a struggle. Nothing at all has come easy for her but she has a sparkle in her eyes and a smile that embodies the word merriment.

Ashley now battles a giant named rejection. The details of this excruciating fight has been documented in her story and you can learn about them there. I encourage you to go and read and experience the horror that she endures. I never knew the torture that rejection inflicts on it's intended victim.

Ashley fought so very hard to keep her transplanted bowel but eventually her surgeons were forced to remove it before the thing that once saved her wound up killing her.

Ashley and her family now wait. Only God knows what is next. Only He can see around the corner.

Ashley can survive without a bowel. 

For a little while.

You see, her veins are damaged from the countless IVs and pokes and surgeries and they are now unable to support the central line she needs in order to survive long enough to recover.

She needs this line people.
Her life depends on it.

She also needs to remain infection free.

And all this for SIX months before another transplant has any hope of being even considered.

God has not abandoned Ashley. Just as he gave David, He has given her a sling and three stones.

Her solid rocks are her mom, her dad, her brother and her sister. And they, like Ashley, rest in a sling in the hand of God.

Below are links to her blog and her Facebook page.

Please pass this on to your friends. You can link back to this blog if you need to.

Pray for her please. Pray hard.

Just sayin'.......

http://ashleyadamsjournal.blogspot.com/

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/group.php?gid=133238723381489

He Loves Me

A few days ago he told me he loved me.

It was the first time I have ever heard him say those words.

Oh, I knew he loved me. 

It was in the way he smiled when he first saw me every morning.
His smile is the playful, mischevious smile of a rascal. A smile outlined with hints of relief that I am there waiting for him and thus the world will rotate correctly on it's axis.

I knew he loved me.

It was in the way he said thank you when I made his world right
by giving him the purple scissors.
It was in the way he signed thank you when I finally understood 
what seemed so very clear to him. 

I knew he loved me.

Love was blatant in the way he tried to kiss my foot after stepping
on it for the thousandth!time!that!day. And it's in the way he wants
me to come see every little thing that intrigues him or how he picks
up the paper I've dropped before it hits the ground. 

This boy is a challenge.

He is stubborn,
intense,
distractible,
impulsive
and loud. 

But mostly, this boy is a gift. 

Because you see, he taught me far more than I taught him.

He taught me to be stubborn determined.
He taught me that if you persist even though others tell you it is okay to stop,
you will eventually be heard and understood.

He taught me to be intense joyful. 
He taught me that the everyday world is full of exciting things
to see, smell, taste, and touch.

That your favorite color is a thing to be celebrated
and helping others creates a joy that makes you
feel good about yourself.

He taught me to be distractible aware of the world around me.
There is much to see and too often we wear blinders,
oblivious to anything and anyone other than our own agendas.
There is beauty in purple construction paper and if you look at the tv
at just the right angle you can make silly faces at your reflection when the teacher is boring less than exciting.

And finally,
I learned that we humans put limitations where they do not belong.
The human spirit is immeasurable and therefore limitless.
All to often, we define others by what the experts deem possible. 

I believe God sets limits that we humans cannot envision or imagine. 
Because we cannot see them we do not reach for them.

He taught me that sometimes ignorance is bliss.
You see, some said that this boy would never talk. 

But a few days ago.....he told me that he loved me.

And that is why this boy is a gift.

Just sayin'.........