There aren't very many things
I have found to be as soothing
as sitting on my back porch
rocking away the stress and the
hurries and worries of life.

It is most beautiful there
when stormy skies stain the lake water pewter
and breezes heavy with the promise of rain
send the leaves dancing on their branches.

Just now
the sun broke through the troubled clouds
and gilded those same branches
golden.

The contrast between dark and troubled skies
and hopeful, golden sunlight
reminds me that like the sun,
God never moves.

The sun is always there,
just behind the clouds.

And He is always there.
God never changes.
During our darkest hours
He is there.

So many times over this
past year, I  have been
without words for my prayers.

God heard my heart instead.
And I have learned that there
is great beauty in the storm.

And The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Good News First

Doctors have been slowly reducing the dosage of the sedatives Marlin is receiving and he is beginning to wake up. My father says that he is restless but he is hanging in there.  We are praying that they can remove him from the vent very soon. His skin grafts have been very successful and they are quite pleased with their healing.

We have a new emergency situation to ask you to pray about.

I received a phone call just a few moments ago. My niece, Jamey, was calling to let me know that my sister-in-law's mom (We all call her Nana) may have had a stroke. The Milledgeville branch of our clan is headed to the hospital as I type this.

Please pray for our family.

It feels as if we have targets on our backs lately.

Just sayin'.........................

Just a quick update tonight.

Marlin was heavily sedated again today.
His pneumonia continues to be a major issue.
His blood pressure is unstable and goes from too low to too high.
Dad says that he was very still all day and did not have any wakeful times but that was due to the level of sedation.

The good news is that Marlin is stronger than most people realize.
In the past year and a half or so, he has fought and BEAT cancer, dealt with the death of our mother and lost everything he owned to a fire.

He has some mountains to climb.
Another fire. 
Serious burns.
Pneumonia.
And again, the loss of everything he owns.

I am re-listing our pray requests and I want to thank those of you who have asked churches and friends all over the U.S. to pray for my brother.
It means the world to us.

Please join us in thanking God for:
the sincere and generous desire of Marlin's Atlanta friends, employer and co-workers to help in any way they can. Several have provided food for us to keep in our rooms and helped in other ways. 
the love his friends have for Marlin
the amazing support from friends Marlin and I had as far back as middle school and high school. WOW! That's all I can say about you guys...

Please join us in asking for:
complete healing of the serious burns and skin grafts on Marlin's legs
wisdom and revelation for the doctors
healing from the pneumonia
continued travel safety and 'walking safety'
peace and serenity for Marlin
pain relief
removal from the ventilator as soon as possible
strength and good health for Dad and Genie as they are in the midst of their busiest time of year. This situation has them burning candles at both ends and in the middle.

I am headed to bed.

Honestly, I am running on fumes myself.

Just sayin'.....................

I wish I were posting a more positive update on Marlin's condition.

Doctors performed another bronchoscopy today and said that one lung is looking pretty bad.

It is frustrating to think that his perfectly healthy lungs have been compromised by the doctor's insistance that he remain on the vent due to agitation.

Actually it is more than frustrating. I am furious.

I believe this could have been avoided.

If I find out that I am right?

Well then...............

Hell hath no fury.

Just sayin'.................

On a calmer note,

Please continue the prayers.

Oh, and thank you!
Thank you so, so much!

Next Up-Pneumonia

It was really just a matter of time.

Yesterday, Marlin's doctors asked for permission to perform a bronchoscopy. They felt it necessary to take samples for testing and to remove some of the fluids that seemed to be building up in his lungs.

This morning they called me as Genie and I were just finishing up with breakfast to ask permission to do another one.

Seems the samples from yesterday grew out pneumonia.

Genie headed back inside the hospital to sign the paper work and I headed home for a few days.

Pneumonia is why I have been so eager for him to be taken off the ventilator.

Frankly, I still don't understand why he has remained on for this long. It seems like each doctor I ask....

has a different answer. 

One doctor says that Marlin is having too much difficulty waking up from the sedation. That he should be more awake right now and that we have to wait until that happens.

Another says that he becomes too agitated when he does wake up.

And that he needs to wake calmly.

Huh?

I don't think I would wake calmly in this situation.

I know these doctors are top notch.

Grady is a Level 1 Trauma Hospital and person after person has told me that this is where we need to be.  More importantly, I have witnessed the level of compassion and the expertise they have.

Well.......there is one I don't exactly love,

but now that I have diagnosed him I understand how to deal with him. 

I'll write all about Dr. Aspergers another day. Just know that he can't really help his lack of bedside manners.

All joking aside, I know who the real doctors are. 

But................................................................

(You knew there would be one didn't you?)

I am who I am.

I need to know the whys and the becauses.

My own doctor knows that I can be irritatingly non-compliant until I know WHY.

We are frustrated. 

It is so very hard to be unable to help Marlin. 

Here are the prayer requests we have for today.

I hope it is helpful to have a list of specific needs.

It is immensely comforting to us as a family to know that many others are praying for the same things we are.

Please join us in thanking God for:

the complete healing of the burns on Marlin's face, head and hands.

the doctors and nurses who care for him

the nurses who have gone above and beyond

the suite of rooms that we have available now for sleeping and showering

the safe travels we have all had to and from Atlanta

the safety we have had walking to and from our rooms and the hospital

Please join us in asking for:

complete healing of the serious burns and skin grafts on Marlin's legs

wisdom and revelation for the doctors as they search for an answer to this continued state of semi consciousness

healing from the pneumonia
continued travel safety and 'walking safety'
peace and serenity for Marlin as he wakes and as he remembers what has happened
pain relief
removal from the ventilator as soon as possible 


Also, please feel free to share this blog address and our need for prayers with your own friends and family.

Every prayer matters......


Just sayin'.......................................

Trial by Fire?



News photo of my brother at the scene of the first fire.
If this photo does not fracture your heart then
you have none.

 I was his first playmate.
He was my roommate and best buddy.

We kept each other entertained.
We argued.
Made up.
Argued some more.

But we always, always took care of each other.

He is the only person I will ever be a big sister to.

He heard my first secrets.
And I cried over a few of his.

He was brave when I was shy and I was good when he was bad.  Smile.

Why is this happening?  Again?

One fire doubles you over with grief
for a cherished pet trapped inside
and memories left charred.

A second?  That's just downright
ridiculous. Uncalled for.

Unfair.

How does it happen that what has
become his worst nightmare
repeats itself?

This is beyond irony.
It is sickening.
And heartbreaking.

My little brother lies in a burn unit
in Atlanta, Ga.

His legs, right arm and head are burned.
A machine breathes for him and he is
burning up with a fever of unknown
origin.

He is very sick.

His sweet Doctor Sarah looks hard
at me when she says "Your brother
is very sick. I'm worried."

I don't know what the next few days
will hold but my God does.

I don't know why this happened.
Again.
But my God does.
And He promised that He would never
leave us.

I find myself struggling to pray.
Overwhelmed. Frustrated.
I just want my brother to be okay.

Right now, we need
your prayers.

And for you to claim this promise with us.

Romans 8:26-28 (The Message)Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.
He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

With my head instead of
my heart,
I choose faith.

In the end, it is all any of us have
and it is the best that we have.

Please pray for my brother.

I was his first playmate
and he was my best buddy.

Just sayin'.............


 

To My Friend-Because So Many Love You and Yours

Sore at Heart.  Broken.  Broken Hearted.  Heart Sore.

Grief.

It wears like a suit of armor.

It is stiff, unwieldy. Alternately cold and hot.

It rebuffs the sun and repels happiness.  

Grief requires……..no, it demands death. 

Death of one we love, death of a dream, death of a promise, death of an ideal or death of a perception.

Death of any of these leaves you empty, broken and heart sore.

The fact that none of them must remain permanent is of no comfort at first.

My friend and her family are grieving.
If you are here you probably know who I am talking about.
If you do not know her then I apologize for the lack of details.
I will only tell the stories that are mine to tell and this one belongs to my friend and her family.

This friend, like many of us, is human. Smile.
She has made many mistakes in life-just exactly like you and I have.
She has faults. As do I.

I suppose that I want you to understand that underneath the surface that we show to the world we are all the same.
We all rejoice.
We all love.
And we all hurt.

I suppose that I want my friend to know that over the twenty something years of our friendship I have seen the good and the bad.
The funny and the sad.

What I want you to know, my friend, is that I know the steel that lies beneath the surface. 

I want others to know about the times you chose the rocky road, the uphill battle or the way less traveled.

You had a choice early in life that many of your peers wouldn’t have thought twice about.
But you?
You chose the road of sacrifice.

When I confided my struggle with panic attacks…….you put your child in my classroom.
You will never know how your confidence in me gave me the strength to keep my head above the water and to keep on dog paddling through those waters filled with anxiety and heart pounding fear.

Your complete acceptance of something none of us really understood is a gift I will be forever grateful for.

I watched you raise that boy alone for a time. You did it with little monetary support and you let him love ALL his family. Even the ones who didn’t really deserve it at the time.

You had a baby with a pretty foot.  Where others might have seen it as something to cry about…..you simply called it his pretty foot.

You have calmly weathered multiple stitches, broken bones, emergency appendectomies and freak accidents with your children and rightfully earned the right to be my medical colleague. Smile.

I was there when you helped give a gift that broke your heart.  I know the cost.

You said the words I have never forgotten.
You said them when I called with grief and pain of my own.
You said,
Hang in there. We’re gonna circle the wagons around you and it’s gonna be okay.

Well, my friend.
Hang in there. 
We are circling the wagons right now and it IS gonna be okay. 

If you have read this far then you must love my friend too.

PLEASE leave her a comment. 
PLEASE write words of love and encouragement for her and her family.
I want to show them that they are loved by soooooo many.

If you have trouble leaving a comment In-box me on Facebook and I’ll add it for you.

It is time to circle the wagons.


Just sayin'.....................................

If You Can Read This-Then Please Pray With Us

Our school family has lost a much loved member. We have lost one of our own. Words cannot express the depth of our shock and our grief.  

I have taught at this school for 27 years now and it has always felt like a family. We take care of our own whether it be faculty or student. We don't always agree with each other and we can be as petty as anyone else can but we always, always take care of each other.

Because in the end....that's what families do.

Each time I closed my eyes last night I saw the beautiful face of our friend. Amy had a smile that not only seemed to be a permanent fixture on her face but it could light up a room. As great as her smile was it didn't compare to her laugh. When Amy laughed-you laughed. She was smart and funny and good at her job. She made it clear that she loved her husband and her boys! In fact, some teased her about how much she loved her husband. She just laughed and told them that they were just jealous. If you knew Amy, then you knew that she loved, loved, loved those boys of hers.

I have heard from many others that they too were unable to sleep. On our minds and in our prayers were her husband who lay critically injured in a hospital and her children. Her babies. One thought ran through my mind over and over....Oh, God her boys...please don't take their daddy. 

Today the news about Amy's husband Brian was more encouraging and we know more about how this unnecessary, horrible tragedy happened.

Grief mixed with anger can be a lethal combination. At times, I find myself completely overwhelmed with anger that someones irresponsible, illegal, selfish decision cost a husband his wife, two precious boys their mother and countless others a piece of their hearts.

Sometimes it is downright inconvenient to be the adult. Personally, I'd like to lay down on the floor and scream and kick my feet. Hearts this broken feel every emotion as keenly as the sharpest knife and it will be hard for us to rise above the pain and anger but guess what?     

We will.

We will because we are family and family takes care of it's own.  We will love those little children entrusted to us each day and we will help them to make some kind of sense out of this mess.  We will comfort them and grieve with them as they began to realize that an adult they have come to know and love will not be coming back to school.

We will rise above this pain and anger because our school family answers to a higher authority than any school administrator or superintendent.  We teach because we are called. We will do what we always do. We will take care of our kids first and then....

well then,

we'll take care of each other.

Because that's what we do at RES.

Just sayin'..........................

There is a blog I check obsessively throughout the day and honestly throughout the night at times.

It is the story of Ashley.
A tiny, little girl with the spirit of David the giant killer. 

And she is in battle with a real life Goliath.

Ashley came into this world in a fight for her life and she has beaten back enemy after enemy after enemy.  She has fought to survive a multiple organ transplant and she has fought to survive cancer.

Ashley will be five years old soon.  Much of her five years have been a struggle. Nothing at all has come easy for her but she has a sparkle in her eyes and a smile that embodies the word merriment.

Ashley now battles a giant named rejection. The details of this excruciating fight has been documented in her story and you can learn about them there. I encourage you to go and read and experience the horror that she endures. I never knew the torture that rejection inflicts on it's intended victim.

Ashley fought so very hard to keep her transplanted bowel but eventually her surgeons were forced to remove it before the thing that once saved her wound up killing her.

Ashley and her family now wait. Only God knows what is next. Only He can see around the corner.

Ashley can survive without a bowel. 

For a little while.

You see, her veins are damaged from the countless IVs and pokes and surgeries and they are now unable to support the central line she needs in order to survive long enough to recover.

She needs this line people.
Her life depends on it.

She also needs to remain infection free.

And all this for SIX months before another transplant has any hope of being even considered.

God has not abandoned Ashley. Just as he gave David, He has given her a sling and three stones.

Her solid rocks are her mom, her dad, her brother and her sister. And they, like Ashley, rest in a sling in the hand of God.

Below are links to her blog and her Facebook page.

Please pass this on to your friends. You can link back to this blog if you need to.

Pray for her please. Pray hard.

Just sayin'.......

http://ashleyadamsjournal.blogspot.com/

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/group.php?gid=133238723381489

Wanted: Prayers

I have a friend is very sick.
We work together and we attend the same church. 
I have known, admired
 and respected this person for many years now.

She has the kind of quiet faith that
screams God's
love and grace
each time she smiles.

That smile...
that smile and her quiet voice
are such a huge part of her personality.

Her calm spirit helped her reach hundreds
of difficult students during her career as an educator.

I wish I were more like her.

Her retirement this spring
made those of us blessed to work with her
immeasurably
sad.

Our little school will be lacking
an important source of insight,
knowledge,
experience,
talent and
encouragement
in the year to come.  

Anyway, to all eight of you who read this blog,
please pray for my friend.

Her struggle is mighty right now
and her suffering is more than unfair.