Friday, October 29, 2010

To My Friend-Because So Many Love You and Yours

Sore at Heart.  Broken.  Broken Hearted.  Heart Sore.


It wears like a suit of armor.

It is stiff, unwieldy. Alternately cold and hot.

It rebuffs the sun and repels happiness.  

Grief requires……, it demands death. 

Death of one we love, death of a dream, death of a promise, death of an ideal or death of a perception.

Death of any of these leaves you empty, broken and heart sore.

The fact that none of them must remain permanent is of no comfort at first.

My friend and her family are grieving.
If you are here you probably know who I am talking about.
If you do not know her then I apologize for the lack of details.
I will only tell the stories that are mine to tell and this one belongs to my friend and her family.

This friend, like many of us, is human. Smile.
She has made many mistakes in life-just exactly like you and I have.
She has faults. As do I.

I suppose that I want you to understand that underneath the surface that we show to the world we are all the same.
We all rejoice.
We all love.
And we all hurt.

I suppose that I want my friend to know that over the twenty something years of our friendship I have seen the good and the bad.
The funny and the sad.

What I want you to know, my friend, is that I know the steel that lies beneath the surface. 

I want others to know about the times you chose the rocky road, the uphill battle or the way less traveled.

You had a choice early in life that many of your peers wouldn’t have thought twice about.
But you?
You chose the road of sacrifice.

When I confided my struggle with panic attacks…….you put your child in my classroom.
You will never know how your confidence in me gave me the strength to keep my head above the water and to keep on dog paddling through those waters filled with anxiety and heart pounding fear.

Your complete acceptance of something none of us really understood is a gift I will be forever grateful for.

I watched you raise that boy alone for a time. You did it with little monetary support and you let him love ALL his family. Even the ones who didn’t really deserve it at the time.

You had a baby with a pretty foot.  Where others might have seen it as something to cry about… simply called it his pretty foot.

You have calmly weathered multiple stitches, broken bones, emergency appendectomies and freak accidents with your children and rightfully earned the right to be my medical colleague. Smile.

I was there when you helped give a gift that broke your heart.  I know the cost.

You said the words I have never forgotten.
You said them when I called with grief and pain of my own.
You said,
Hang in there. We’re gonna circle the wagons around you and it’s gonna be okay.

Well, my friend.
Hang in there. 
We are circling the wagons right now and it IS gonna be okay. 

If you have read this far then you must love my friend too.

PLEASE leave her a comment. 
PLEASE write words of love and encouragement for her and her family.
I want to show them that they are loved by soooooo many.

If you have trouble leaving a comment In-box me on Facebook and I’ll add it for you.

It is time to circle the wagons.

Just sayin'.....................................


  1. I am heartbroken for you and your family, but please know that you are all very loved. I know the pain you are feeling is unmeasurable. You are such a strong woman who can bring a smile to anyone's face on a tough day. Well, now it is our turn to repay you for those much needed smiles.We are here for you, whatever you need and whenever you need it...
    Love you,

  2. I love the friend you are writing about and to her I would say, I am so thankful I have had the opportunity to get to know you better this year. You have come to mean so much to me. You were there for me when my heart hurt and my pain was raw, I want to extend the same to you. I love that our friends make up a family-not a perfect one but a human one with imperfections in our daily lives but we are bonded by a perfect love. My friend we love you, support you and are continually praying for you and your family.
    And Ann, thank you so much for your writing, it is so inspiring. I am so very jealous of your talent!
    Love both of y'all,

  3. Any friend of my sister's is a friend of mine. I know you have been a beloved and faithful friend to her through the years. Know that I am lifting you and your family up in prayer. The faithful of Beulah Baptist Church will also be praying. Thank you for loving my sister through the years. If there is anything I can ever do please don't hesitate to call - Ann always knows how to find me. Praying without ceasing.

  4. I also love this precious, precious friend you are writing about.

    She is the gift of humor and strength in all of our lives.

    Sweet friend, please know that our hearts ache many pains with you right now and there will be peace soon. God is looking down right now loving and holding your family very close and he knows the outcome (it’s his perfect plan). Always remember: Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

    We love you with all our hearts and we are here for you all the way.

  5. I saw one of my dearest friends broken Thursday morning. But...what I know about my friend is that the broken parts of her will find a way to mend. You are strong and determined. I know that through all of this you will find a way to keep yourself and your precious children moving toward a positive place. Please know that my family and me will be by your side ALWAYS. We will not leave you or your children. We love you dearly and we want to do everything we can to help you mend all those pieces.