Father's Day-2010 Part 1

Father's Day was our first family gathering
without her at the house she and my father
designed and built for their later years.

She left us just before Mother's Day so on
that day we chose to gather at my brother's
house in the woods.

It was somehow easier to be there under those trees.
All gathered together around the big picnic
table my brother built.

We looked at cards, read letters aloud and
touched the prayer quilt sewn by prayer
warriors who prayed for a woman, a wife,
a mother, a grandmother and a sister
they had never met. 

"What a waste," said the voice in my head. 
"She died anyway."

I think you would recognize that voice.
It's the voice that tells you that you
aren't good enough, smart enough,
brave enough or pretty enough.

It is the voice of the Liar, who would
love nothing more than to stop us
from praying.

What I heard in my head I refute with
my heart.

For you see, my mother left this earth
with dignity and without struggling
through months of suffering.

And that was an answered prayer.

More importantly though......
My mother did not die.....
She just doesn't live here
anymore.

So, even though
I miss her so very much.....
What more could you
pray for?



Just sayin'.

Lazy Days of Summer?

I know it has been a long time between posts but it isn't from lack of trying.  I have a few posts in my drafts folder and maybe I can finish them up this week. 


I've been staying busy though...


refinishing furniture
Facebook
mowing the grass here
painting shelves in the laundry room
sweeping up dog hair
unpacking the last few boxes
reading blogs
mowing the grass at Tony's old house
vacuuming up dog hair
crocheting baby hats
driving the mom taxi
checking out craft ideas on the internet 
Facebook
cleaning up dog hair
Mowing the grass at my old house
reading Stephen King's The Dome
painting furniture
rearranging furniture
cursing dog hair
Facebook


You get the picture.


Just sayin'.

I admit it.
I am stressed out.

Let's look at the past year.

My sweet baby boy graduated
high school.  My little buddy
is gone and in his place is a
man.  Sniff, sniff.

One year and four days ago I
watched my first born walk down
the aisle to a sweet boy I love as much
as the ones I gave birth too. I'll write
more about that day later.

Since watching my eldest start the
first chapter in the book of her family
I have completely re-painted a house
and made countless upgrades.

I have married my best friend and
moved the rest of us, his and mine,
into a new/old house.

We still have both smaller houses
on the market for a total of three
house payments.

I have learned that blending a
family is not easy even when you
love them all.

I learned that blending dogs is
just as hard as blending kids.

I have worried about a child who
has pain in her joints that the
orthopedist and the physical
therapist can't relieve.

I have worried about my mother
as she struggled to eat for months
on end and I have been kicked in
the stomach by words like cancer
and inoperable.

I have been honored to care for my
mother in those last sixteen days.
To hold her hand.
To watch her face.
To administer the medication that
will keep the pain at bay.
And finally to watch her take that
last breath here on earth and to
know that her soul had taken flight
to Jesus.

I have thoroughly enjoyed a very challenging
school year.  One that pushed my limits but that
also brought me great joy in times of grief.

If you look at a scale of life stresses you will
see that most of these things are rated very
high. 

As I typed these words with the intent of asking
for prayers for relief of some of these difficult things
GOD was whispering in my ear.

My daughter has a partner in life better than any
I could have ever chosen myself.  A Godly,
compassionate,man who will take better care of
her than I could.

I am now a passable painter.  Maybe I have a second
career to fall back on as the governor takes more and
more from my paycheck.  I also know how to lay
laminateflooring, nail boards to a deck and clean
spilled deck stain from concrete.

My baby boy amazes me with his sense of
responsibility, his compassion and his
maturity.

We have a daignosis for the joint pain.  And it is
neither a life time or a life threatening diagnosis.

We are still making all three house payments and
I am not in this alone.  My best friend and I lay
down under the same roof every night now. 

The dogs don't fight much anymore and I haven't
threatened to take the four upstairs dogs to the
pound in at least a week.

If the children aren't exactly blending at
least they are learning that life isn't always
about them and sometimes you have to be
last in line for the shower.

I choose to trust in God that I
made a difference in the lives
of a few students.  I will remember
them with laughter and with love.

I was honored to care for my

mother in those last sixteen days.
To hold her hand.
To watch her face.
To administer the medication that
will kept the pain at bay.
And finally to watch her take that
last breath here on earth and to
to Jesus.


God IS good!  Isn't he?

Home

In this house live

two middle aged 

youngish adults,

one young adult,

two teenagers,

one tween,

five dogs

and

one

cat.

Our oldest drops

by when she can.

Sometimes she

brings our favorite.

Smile.

The kids' friends

are here too. 
Constantly

in and out.

Yelling hello
as they slam

the front door.

It often means quickly

adding another pound

of ground beef to the

spaghetti sauce.

It can be bewildering.
It can be hectic.

It is noisy.

It is chaotic.

It is rowdy.

It is home.

Wednesdays Project

Sooooooo, I'm determined to make every day count this summer.  Usually somewhere around July 25 I realize that the summer is almost gone and I haven't started any of the projects I put on my To-Do list back in May. 

This year I have vowed to be productive every lots of days this summer.

One characteristic I have honed to a finely tuned quality is my ability to
procrastinate.  Yeah.  I'm good at it.

Wednesday's project was to take this,

and turn it
into a planter.

Luckily, my fabulous husband
introduced me to this. It's called
an orbital sander and it's way
 better than sandpaper!

 

This is what I ended
up with after about
30 minutes.

After a little black paint
I ended up with this. 
Painting the wheel was
the hardest part of the
whole project.

 

Finally, I used this
to drill holes for drainage,
added some store bought
dirt and some flowers.

 

This is what I ended up with

and I am quite happy with it. 
I had planned to put it next
to our mailbox but I am afraid
it might disappear like the
antique push mower we put
there last month.

In Memoriam

To those whose sacrifice was made freely
To ensure that the rest of us might live freely,
Words are paltry compensation.
 
To those left here without them,
Reaching for hands no longer there,
Words are meager comfort.
 
With utmost respect for the best of us...
our fallen warriors
And with humble prayers for those they left,
Thank you.