Wednesday, May 5, 2010

You Think Your Life Sucks?


Rant at life just ahead.

Hit the back button if you don’t want to hear it!

So….did I miss the memo?

You know, the one that said everything had to suck at one time.


First of all, I’m way behind with all that teacher paperwork you hear teachers complain about.

so much of what we do is
and I

But I rushed away from school yesterday because
that was the day most of our kids could 
be here to celebrate my birthday.
We are all stretched thin right now so
instead of going out to eat
I decided to cook so I needed to hurry home to get started.

First I needed to stop by the pharmacy
to pick up a prescription that trust me,
wants me to skip.

(yes you read right)
I get home.
What a sweet word.

I love it here by the lake.
Until the alarm across the lake began to shriek.
And shriek.
And shriek.
How rude.
Someone really needed to turn that stupid thing off!!

It was our alarm.
You know....
the one I don’t know how to operate.

I’m yelling for my son
and pushing the button that says
And pushing all the other buttons.
And pushing.
And pushing.
And wondering
if the message that says
Fire! Zone 99
is important.

That would be when the doorbell rang.
It was a helpful neighbor.

Suggesting we push…..
the off button.

Thank goodness for Phillip
who determined that the shrieking was happening
because the smoke detector on the very top floor had been tripped.

When he twisted the smoke detector to turn it off
water poured from it.


From the smoke alarm!?!?

At least the noise stopped.

While I ranted about the stupid leaky roof that we
to have inspected
we bought the house,
Phillip calmly went up in the attic and
discovered that the pan beneath the air handler
was full of water and leaking.

of our three air conditioner units were
The one that works?
It’s in the basement and rarely comes on.

Resolving to shake off the irritation and anger,
I headed to the kitchen to take something from the freezer for dinner.
The 30 year old Sub-Zero refrigerator/freezer that came with the house.

Of course, the meat was.not.frozen.

Thank goodness for my husband
who knows how to fix stuff and can
even fix his wife.

After lots of...
shall we say...
‘magic’ words
that apparently need to be
screamed in order to work properly,
Tony decided to dispose of the heavy duty garden hose that refused to siphon off the water standing in the tray.
he walked out the front door just past my assigned post of faucet turner
and heaved the part of hose he carried in his arms out into the yard.

The part he wasn’t carrying?
Oh, that’s the part that hit me in the head.

I turned and watched him stomp angrily into the house.
He stopped in the foyer,
thoughtfully tilted his head,
turned cautiously
and asked,
“Um, did I just hit you with the hose?”
Go ahead and laugh.
I did.  :)

That’s when I noticed the time and realized there would be
no yummy birthday dinner for any of us.
Times like this are why I have Dominoes on speed dial.

Arriving home with the pizza, I answerd a call from a
sweet, sweet friend
who knew that I’d dreaded celebrating this particular birthday.
She had made me a pound cake.
Only, it fell when she opened the oven door.
And it stuck to the pan when she tried to remove it.

She was apologetic.
I said, “Hey, just scrape off what stuck to the pan.
 That’s my favorite part anyway.”

It really is.
My favorite part.

Kathy cleared her throat and said,
“Well, I just ate that part.”

That’s okay.

The rest of it tasted really good.

And tomorrow will be better.

Just sayin’.

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