Dr Friend

I have known Dr. Friend for years.
I knew him before he became my doctor.
That's why I call him Dr. Friend.

I take full advantage of that friendship.
I admit that I talk back to him, self diagnose,
disagree with his diagnosis, remind him of memorable
embarrassing moments at inappropriate times and I
have even accused him of wanting to 'scope' me just so
could have some ammunition ofhis own.

I think he really likes it when I
have an appointment.

So I went to see Dr. Friend whose PA
pronounced me possessed depressed.

I was there for a follow up on the high blood pressure
reading I had last time. The time I promised him
that if he would hold off on the medication
I would walk. 
I promise!
For real!

So...he gave me a month.

I knew that if I went in this time and was honest
about all of my various complaints that out would
come the Depression checklist.

I was honest. I said that I couldn't sleep.
I'm always tired. I'm grumpy, fat and I worry a lot.

She got Dr Friendly. She told me she was
going to tell him she thought I was depressed.

Sigh.
Out it came. The list.

Do you feel sad?
Yes, Duh. My mom just
died and so did my cat. Not that they were on the
same par but still.....come on!
As if my mom dying isn't enough?
My cat!
Dies too!
Jeez.

Are you sleeping well?
No. Not since I spent several days functioning on
two hours of sleep at night and a two hour nap during the day.

Huh?
Well I couldn't leave her. I couldn't trust anyone else
to watch her breathe like I could. I had help. 
I just couldn't leave her.

Have you been exercising?
(Smile) Yeah right.
Like that's gonna happen.
Oh shoot! I was gonna try
to avoid that confession.

Are you anxious? Worried?
Well, only about making the four mortgages and
if Governor Traitor will furlough me more and if
we will ever sell or rent any of these houses and
who I will be working with next yearand....
well the list goes on.
Because worry? It's what I do best.

In the end, I left with instructions to exercise
(and he doesn't care if I'm too tired or not just do it),
eat healthier and up that medication that NO ONE ever
wants me to skip.

Whatever...
He's bossy.

Anyway, my blood pressure was perfect.

Just sayin'.............................