Lunch With the Chef AKA OINK!

Soooo, she walked into the classroom this morning ready for picture day. She was dressed in new clothes from head to toe.  I knew that because her hoodie had the size sticker placed precariously on her shoulder where she'd forgotten about it after playing with it on the way to school.

She glanced my way several times as she rummaged around in her backpack (also new). Finally finding what she wanted and holding it proudly in her hand she approached me.

Just imagine I am telling you this story in the voice of a typical five year old.

"I bwung da Chef," she said.

"Ummm, what did you say, Sweetie?" I said.

"I bwung da Chef," she repeated patiently.

"Okaaaay," I said. "Why?"

She stared at me blankly.
In retrospect, I realize she just might
have been wondering why she got stuck with the slow teacher.

"I put in my wunchbox," she said.

"Soooo, did you bring that for lunch?" I asked.

(Yes! I know it was a dumb question, but we have a snack time too, people!  You wouldn't even believe what they bring for snack time!)

She nodded solemnly. Sigh.
It's tough to be saddled with the slow teacher.

"Does your mom know you brought the Chef to school today?"

"I didn't ask her," she said.

"Honey, you can't have the Chef for lunch. We don't have a way to cook it."

Leveling a flat stare at me (you know the one little kids have when they don't believe a word you are saying) she turned away.

Later on at lunch time she once again pulled out the Chef.

"Baby," I said politely, "What are you doing now?"

"Getting.da.Chef.for.wunch." This said slowly and followed with a silent DUH!

Like a good teacher, I realized that she didn't get it the first time and perhaps it was due to my explanation.

I tried another tack

"Okay, girlie, did you bring your can opener?"

She made the OH NO face and shook her head.

"Then the Chef stays in the classroom."  This said with an invisible fist pump given by the teacher.    Smile.

Yes, boys and girls, the child had bwung an unopened can of Chef Boyardee SpaghettiOs.

Sometimes you just gotta know how to explain things.

Just sayin'.....................