Tuesday, April 3, 2012

About the Dream I Dreamed Last Night

Last week a student asked me if I had a mama.

Yes, I do, I answered. But she lives in heaven now.

Oh, and you're sad?

Yeah. When I miss her, I'm sad.

Oh, she said.

And when she leaned her head against mine
it was as soothing as cool water on a burn.

We stayed that way, her head against mine and her little
hands patting my back in silent sympathy until
she darted off to finish an activity.

I think my mom sent her to love on me.

I dreamt of my mother last night.

She came to me in my dream but I left
before finding out why she was there.

She walked in as I was changing clothes
in a room that was dim and crowded.

I was glad to see her but admonished her
for carrying a heavy laundry basket.

Mama, give me that, I ordered. You know
I dont want you carrying anything that heavy.
Sit here. How are you? I asked.

I'm okay, she answered.
But her voice was tired and in my dream
I was worried.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

Then I woke.
Gasping. Sweating.
Immediately sorry.
Sorry for leaving
my dream too soon

I miss her so.
I am still not ready to be a child without a mama.
Sort of a half orphan.

With her, I could be a child again if I needed to.

Her child.

She would listen to me alot, advise me just a little 
and then she would pat me on the butt
and send me back out into the world again
a little stronger.

That's what mamas do, you see.
They help us grow up.

Sometimes with kind words.
Sometimes with a swat on our rear ends.
But in their hearts
we remain their babies.

I just miss being her baby.

Just sayin'...............................