OINK-Only IN Kindergarten

I have this kid in my room this year who has to be the happiest person I have ever met.

I want to be just like him when I grow up.

To this bright spot in my day chairs are not for sitting.
In fact, he routinely falls from his chair for no apparent reason other than his own propensity to shake, rattle and roll.

Ever heard of planking?
It involves balancing one's stiffened body across an object. 
He does it every day.

Sometimes he teeters across his chair.
Sometimes he has an elbow on the table and a knee on his chair.
I cannot begin to list the insane positions he has been able to achieve using only one small blue chair and the edge of his table.

Several times a day I realize that he has disappeared.
This usually results in an exasperated ever so slightly impatient yell redirection from his teacher and he pops up from under the table or under the chair.

And that face, that cute little face that belongs in an episode of The Little Rascals (look it up young people), has that smile on it.

And I can't help but smile back.
And I also forget that I am exasperated.
(Note to self-grin more, people will forget why they are annoyed.)

Today he hopped (really) across the room to interrupt me as I spoke with a co-worker.

We ignored him until we heard...IT.
One of those words you just don't want to hear in a classroom of five year olds.
One of those words you will spend ten or seventy minutes discussing with offended kids, giggling kids and curious kids.

We stopped in mid sentence to hear...

Mrs. Frazzled, Mrs. Frazzled! I dint bwing my pee-is to schoo' today!  I dint bwing my peeis to schoo' today!

Huh? What? Wait! What did you say?

I dint bwing my peeis to schoo' today!

Ummmmmm, say that again I didn't understand you.

Big sigh-I dint bwing my pee-is to schoo'!

You didn't bring your.........(I can't say it so I substitute my next best guess) pants? to school today?

Another big sigh-I.dint.bwing.my.PEE-IS.to.schoo'.today.
(I know he was wondering why he had to be stuck with the deaf teacher)

Sweetie, I hear you I just don't know what you are saying.

He searched among the junk on my desk,
found what he needed and said even louder-I.dint.bwing.my.PEEIS.to.schoo'.today!

All this while holding a PENCIL two inches from my nose.

You see, Smiley has been purchasing a lead pencil from the school store on a daily basis for quite sometime. These pencils come inside a clear plastic tube.
Said tube makes a great light saber, a fabulous straw, an awesome telescope and a fantastic way to get the teacher to holler. It shouldn't surprise anyone that his teacher has been urging him to stop the retail therepy.

When I finished laughing we sat down to practice including the n and the l sounds in the word pencil!

I feel sorry for you people that have regular jobs.



Just sayin'......................................